Uncertainty - 4/20/2020

I am an engineer at heart. It fits my personality, strengths and my fears perfectly. Growing up I always feared speaking up in History and English classes. Why? Because it was mostly opinionated. And my opinion, I was uncertain of. I didn’t know if it was right or if it was wrong. I’ve learned a lot about this since then but looking back it was very true and it is still true at times nowadays too. But math and science, ohhhhh that was my fucking jam! Why? Because I had the answers. I could calculate the answers in math class, check my calculations, and be CERTAIN that I had the answer. So, I regularly rose my hand to share the answers I had found. Same holds true in science class where answers were calculated or tested and could be KNOWN. So, naturally, I studied engineering as an undergrad.

Now as I am out in the world adulting (whatever the fuck that is) I am regularly facing an all too familiar fear on a daily basis; UNCERTAINTY. How do I find the right job? Who is that life partner I’m looking for? Where should I live? How do I know what is right and what is wrong? And now, WHAT THE FUCK DOES THIS WHOLE CORONAVIRUS SHIT MEAN? How long will this last? How will it change the world? How do I move forward now……? As an engineer, I do my very best to calculate the odds and weigh the risk of my decisions. But when it really comes down to it, I truly have no idea what the fuck I’m doing. I’m winging it, and so are you. There is no blueprint to this thing called life (if you have one, hit me up, we gonna make a fuck ton of money). So, in yet another extremely uncertain time of life what should we do? For me, I accept and I live in the now. I am moving forward as if corona life is the only life I will know. And with that acceptance and detachment from certainty, I fall into action. Yep, mhm, exactly, just like writing weird lengthy posts online that most people won’t read. But I am also doing what I can to network, getting creative to pursue my passions of life coaching and personal training, and taking action towards my goals even where doubt is present. Thanks for sticking through this one. If you made it this far, put aside the uncertainty, accept your situation, and LIVE IN THE NOW.

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